Chronically Healing Through Writing

Thoughts of the end -so through a pen I share rawfully honest thoughts. Thoughts about my relationship with chronic pain. Thoughts about the fantasies of romantic love , and the agony when this illusion disappears. The goal is to learn from my own journey through words.

Month: February, 2014

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Ancestry

It would be nice if I actually got something out of ancestry.com . All these distant cousins do not give me the answers I need. What is the point if you didn’t even know your  grandparents. I guess I raised my hopes too high. Thought I would find myself.
Thought I would find the missing pieces.
Thought I would find the siblings I never met.
Thought I’d gain a relative I connected with.
Thought I would find out I’m a unique blend of nationalities.
No, instead I am what I knew I was all along.
Instead I’m still lost.
Instead I have not gained one of my long lost brothers.
Instead a bunch of alerts about a new distant cousin, who would think I’m nuts for contacting them.
I guess I am not the untold story
I guess I am not so different
I guess knowing yourself is not all that great when all fingers point to average
I guess I will remain the only child in theory and in my heart.  
I guess I give up.

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Mourning

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/37611143230/i-never-knew-looking-at-someones-face-could-be-so

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I deleted his pictures!!!

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/38051107065/when-i-was-younger-i-heard-a-story-of-a-woman

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Young and dumb

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/38683454725/the-real-l-words-not-love-but-lust-and-lies

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Life questions

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/45204893346/o-the-body-is-something-you-wear-not-something

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Ignoring my gut

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/47189190860/losing-my-gut

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He never measured up to my lowest standards

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/47190843234/he-is-a-disappointment

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Frank

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/48070000977/loving-a-stranger

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First love puppy love is not like TV.

http://lizisarealist.tumblr.com/post/48791803628/love-at-first-sight-is-not-what-it-seems

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