Chronic pain chronicles

Today I realized I’m rather lucky or shall I say blessed. I have to capitalize on the positive things in my life and minimize the negative. Yes, I am in pain all the time, it flows simultaneously with my thoughts. Yet some days just go by, without the thought of pain.

Positivity is not easy, and sometimes it’s feels great to throw shit at the world for feeling trapped in your own body. However, I do see light at times.

One day I spoke to the universe, and I asked; more like demanded that the next man I meet will understand my issues. He will not judge me or make me feel less than. He will not tell me this invisible illness is all in my mind. I stated that I must be comfortable with him.

Well, someone found me who gets it. He lets me be. He helps me when I am to prideful to ask for help.
It does not feel like a chore for him. He appears to want to help without displaying that look of pity.

I am blessed that my spirit attracted a compassionate lover. Someone who cares about all people, places, and things. He has a nurturing spirit. My energy, made that quality a requirement not just a mere request.

When he volunteers to get up, and bring me something…I am over the moon. The massages without asking.
When he pours a drink in my cup, or better when he hands me the cup.
When a simple hug calms my over- active nerves.
When I lay on him.
When he lays on me.
When he asks how I’m feeling.
It is really the little things.
I am truly grateful.

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