Naked

by lizisarealist

I no longer want to be naked. Naked= alone.

Clothes will always be with me.

I continue to cover the truth, flaws, and scars.

Camouflage  the  fat-covered well enough to elude the most clever of characters

One will not leave from disappoint- Only touch me when I am in cloth

Draped over my body, to hide the shame; the embarrassment; my truest self

The self I do not know anymore.

 I refuse to display things I no longer recognize.

The viewer would know me more than I know myself-and then leave

And every time after, I must knit another sweater, because I have grown cold after-he left

Tired of rebuilding-Putting myself back together-re-learning to love the woman who always gets walked out on

Desperate enough to want them to stay, and welcome the mental abuse

A shameful thought to think abuse = something more than abandonment- maybe love?

At least he stays- I say in my head

He stays and yells; he stays and neglects; he stays and takes advantage; he stays and fights with me

Point is… he stays

No, they all leave and they all leave the same way

Disappears without a word; not even willing to return to get the things they left behind 

Leaving me to think my nakedness ran them off

So I will remain covered

 

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