Father’s day 

A year ago today…weeks prior, I made advances towards a man who was not interested in me. For a brief second I read a text message… I read it in a spirit of hope, more like delusion. I mean…I saw it so clearly. So I carried on for weeks. Ignoring things. Seeing more words in his one word replies…more than one sentence to my paragraphs. I saw substance in nothing. So today, last year, I persuaded him to come to my home. In my fantasy, he was dying to see me, and this was his idea. To make a long story short I slept with him. I couldn’t even see straight. It was…gasp… indescribable. I didn’t know how much I missed that level of intimacy. Once it was over… it was really over. My chest grows tighter thinking about it. I have not seen him since. To give your body away on Father’s day. To feel so empty. Like a fatherless child that no one wants. Sister I beg you not to make that mistake again